It Shouldn't Be This Hard

Wow!  It has been a busy week!

Let's see.  We had a nice Fourth of July last week, with family coming over to enjoy the pool and some BBQ Pulled Pork Sandwiches, amongst other things.  It was a HOT 104 degrees!  I purchased a misting cooling system that Glenn installed on the porch ceiling ledge of our back porch.  That made it a little more comfortable, but still the weather and the lack of rain, made being outside challenging.  Because fireworks were banned (due to the burn ban and the drought) it was an early evening.

And, because I was outside in the heat too much, I had a few days of flaring.  It can be so frustrating to do things that push my limits health wise, with no trouble, and then get slammed to the floor the next.  So unpredictable!

This week Glenn and I took a little drive to Conway to do a little shopping and to have lunch together.  That is always enjoyable.  Of course, we ended up shopping for the grandkids, with birthdays around the corner.  I think Glenn gets more of a kick out of doing this, than me some times.

Tonight we had Amber and her family over for dinner and to swim.  Getting together as one big group is a lot of fun, but can be challenging spending quality time with everyone.  It is Amber's and Zac's 8th wedding anniversary coming up the 16th, so we wanted to do a little something to celebrate that with them.  On Saturday, we will babysit Emma and Ethan so Amber and Zac can do some boating or fishing, possibly.  That's always fun!

Amber and I spent a little time this evening talking about how the family dynamics have changed in the last 2 1/2 years since Mike has been gone.  There is a huge void left where Mike once existed.  I have watched our family break apart and I can't seem to find a way to bridge that gap, even as hard as I try.  Mike seemed to bring out the best in everyone and differences didn't matter.  The relationship did.  I know better than to blame all of this on myself.  I believe each of us owns a part.  But loving each other shouldn't be this hard.  I was left thinking and praying this evening, God would help me to accept things that I have no control over.  Others have to want it enough too.