Glenn had the traveling bug bite him lately.  So he arranged a trip to San Francisco for the two of us for a couple of days.  It took two days just to travel there and back.  The first day we drove down the coast.  It was absolutely beautiful!  I have never seen the coast like that in person.  I had Glenn pulling over constantly so we could takes some pictures.

Our second day was spent driving NE to Lincoln, CA...just past Sacramento.  Glenn's family is there so I was introduced to them.  It was a very brief visit (only 3 hours), but it was neat seeing a complete different landscape.

 

 

 

 

 

We spent our third day driving around San Francisco downtown, seeing all of the "must sees"!

 

 



 

 

Outside of our Garmin giving us wrong directions the whole trip, we had such a nice time.  Maybe someday we'll go back to spend a little more time there.

 



The Change of Seasons

Song: "Over You" by Miranda Lambert and Blake Sheldon

"Weather man said it's gonna snow,
By now I should be used to the cold.
Mid-February shouldn't be so scary.
It was only December,
I still remember the presents,the tree, you and me.

But you went away,
How dare you? I miss you.
They say I'll be okay,
But I'm not going to ever get over you.

Living alone, here in this place,
I think of you and I'm not afraid.
Your favorite records make me feel better,
Cause you sing along with every song.
I know you didn't mean to give them to me.

But you went away, How dare you? I miss you.
They say I'll be okay,
But I'm not going to ever get over you.
It really sinks in, you know,
When I see it in stone

'Cause you went away
How dare you? I miss you. They say I'll be okay,
But I'm not going to ever get over you."

**************************************************************

These three to four months of a year are the roughest for me to get through since losing Mike. 

It was in October 2009, when I felt time with Mike was slipping out of my hands.  I was trying desperately to hold on to him while God was literally prying my hands off this treasured relationship.

So there is always this remnant of anxiousness deep inside of me at this time of year, daring to snuff the air out of my lungs.  For it was the seasons that told me the time of year I was in, not a clock.  So much confusion was surrounding me those last couple of years.  I'd only be awakened by change, when the crisp fall air fell on me...as I walked outside to take in a deep breath...in order to go on.

Thanksgiving held so much promise that last year.  Mike would have his feeding tube in.  We could help him.  We could make him stronger.  But then within twelve hours, all of that changed, all of that was taken out of our hands, and we left the hospital without him....forever.  It was so hard to be thankful that year.  And it has been hard since.

Christmas....  I wasn't ready for Christmas.  I didn't want to acknowledge Christmas.  What is Christmas without the man I shared 37 years with?  How could I be happy when I wasn't? How impossible it was to pretend.  For the kids sake?  For the grandchildren?  For the new grand baby that I learned was on the way?  I should be happy.  I want to be happy.  Why do I find it so hard to smile?  Christmas is rough to live through.  Three years ago.  Even now.

Birthdays.  The kids and Mike's are just around the corner from Christmas, in January.  What do I do?  How do we celebrate without Mike? It has to be celebrated. It doesn't feel "right" if we don't even try.

We always shared the conclusion to the holidays with a high note,.... only the song is silent now.  The joy left.  I've learned my voice wasn't a part of the music heard.  It was too soft...or flat...or non-existent.  In short, it wasn't enough.  It wasn't loud enough to sustain the song our family sang.  The energy left our family and so did our song. The family turned outward instead of in. When they did...I found myself alone.  I've learned I'm a horrible replacement in a gaping hole.

Time makes the sting less painful, but with the change of seasons, there is still such a dull heartache, that rattles loose memories.  At least for me.  Everyone expects the heartbreak to be over...but it isn't. So it's a lonely journey.

A Week Can Fly By!

Life seems to be spinning so fast lately!  Between different projects Glenn and I have around the house, serving at the church, helping with the grandchildren, going to doctor appointments, going to T-ball and Soccer games of Ethan's and Drew's.....a week can fly by!  But the past couple of weeks have been a little more challenging than usual. 

First, my brothers sons have been dealing with their mom, Becky, who has been in critical condition.  She had three brain aneurysms.  Doctors have been able to do coil immobilization's but day 7-14 have been critical as she has been having vasospasms in the blood vessels in her brain.  It has been important for her to be kept quiet and to have rest or risk serious complications.  She has a long way back if she continues to pull through.  Praying and trying to keep the boys encouraged has been about all I can do from here.  Next month will be two years that Becky lost her second husband to cancer.  My heart is heavy for all of them. {NOTE:  I heard today that the breathing tube has been removed and she is talking.  Praise God!}

Last week an ambulance came down our street slowing by our house.  A neighbor across the street, Larry, use to get chemotherapy treatments with Mike.  Larry has leukemia.  He had been in remission but came out of it a few months back.  In addition to this, Larry's father from Florida needed to move in with him because he has developed Alzheimer's.  That was who the ambulance was for.  The father had become disoriented.  Larry has always said Mike was whom he looked up to, while Mike was being treated.  His bright and positive spirit helped many people.  It's a blessing to see how Mike continues to encourage his friends on, even still. {NOTE: I heard today that after only three treatments, he is back into remission.  Praise God!}

Our next door neighbor got into a bad fight with her husband in their backyard yesterday.  I can't begin to picture for you the language, physical abuse or screaming children that faced Glenn and I Sunday that had us rattled.  The husband ended up hurting his wife and the police were called.  Three showed up and the husband was moved out their home ...temporarily.  The grandparents came and took the three crying children away.  It was truly sad.  It makes my heart hurt to know what they were feeling.  I'm so grateful my children and grandchildren have peaceful and happy family lives. 

Since the school year began this year, we offered to give Amber a complete day off without the kids on Tuesdays.  Ethan and Emma attend Mother's Day Out for five hours and then Glenn and I pick them up at 2:15 and care/play with them for a couple of hours,  We've truly enjoyed doing this! 

On Thursdays, Ethan only goes to MDO, so we pick him up to spend some one on one time with him, while Emma naps at home with her mom.  We try to do something fun with him.  Glenn's been starting Ethan a coin collection.  A couple of Glenn's hobbies have been coin collecting and stamp collecting.  When they aren't doing this, they are building small projects together.

(Dollar Tree toys made one day a blast at

Grandma's and Glenn's last week!)

Today Glenn and I finally got the swimming pool closed up for the winter.  It's quite a lengthy process, but most of the work was just keeping out pine needles and falling leaves before placing the cover across.  We kept having incredibly high winds.  At least now, the project is complete and maybe we can catch up on a few other projects we started and had to lay to the side.

(Alyssa checking out the fish)

 

So, this is Glenn's birthday week.  We borrowed a couple of Amber's aquariums to decide whether we wanted to pursue this any further.  This past weekend we bought a 29 gallon aquarium and we're in the process of setting everything up and getting water condition before getting the fish.  We haven't had the best luck with fish so far.  We bought a red Betta which passed soon after we got him.  Then we had three blue guppies which individually croaked days between the three of them.  So Glenn asked me to go out and get him two more guppies to keep the remaining one from being lonely.  The last blue one croaked after a water change, so now we have 2 remaining guppies, and one sapphire blue long tail Betta.  So far so good.

(We're waiting to transfer fish once the tank is clear and safe)

Glenn is going to be celebrating his 64th birthday this Thursday!  I call him my dinosaur. [grin]  I'm grateful to God for bringing him into my life!  Happy Birthday, Glenn!